Spread the Fun!

Googlicious!

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Great Secrets to Better Listening: Be All Ears



It may seem pretty straightforward, but many people have a hard time with the foundation of listening: Actually remaining silent and letting the other person say what they have to say. When we interrupt, roll our eyes, make faces and noises, or feign listening with excessive 'yeah's 'uh-huh's and 'okay's, we just show the other person disrespect, which often leads to further tension and possibly even verbal or physical altercations.

Join the communication skills conversation on Twitter!

So, the next time a friend, family member, co-worker is trying to confront us about our behavior, it's probably helpful if we give them a chance to actually get their feelings off of their chest. Sometimes people aren't all that upset with us over a single thing that we did, but because of a multitude of little things that irked that person, and they may have been holding in their feelings for a while.

It's understandable that people sometimes make assumptions about what we did or said, but that doesn't mean we can't let them get their thoughts out in the open. Once the  person is finished speaking, we can review what they've said and give them information to dispute their assumptions. If you assume that I brought a six-pack of beer to your Super Bowl party because I want to ruin your 9 months of sobriety, I can let you tell me what you think and how you feel about that. Then I can gently remind you that we've been drinking together since we were teenagers and, now that we're in our thirties, though I am supportive of your recovery from alcoholism, I simply acted out of habit and completely forgot about your condition. I can apologize, ask for forgiveness, and then (hopefully) enjoy an alcohol-free party at your house.


It's often very difficult for us to sit back and listen to someone say things that we know to be untrue. In this instance, it can be helpful to embrace the idea that this person lacks knowledge (or maybe even a connection with reality) that allows them to speak honestly about the topic at hand. Therefore, view them more as someone who might benefit from that information, not necessarily someone who is vehemently trying to tell lies. Again, when they are done speaking, talk to them about what you know to be fact and what you know to be fiction.

Simply sit back and listen and see if that doesn't help ease tension in your relationship with others.

Like.     Follow.     Connect.

No comments:

Post a Comment