Now that we've explored the possible origins of passivity, and weighed out the good and bad aspects of being a passive person, let's end this post series with a few key ideas related to becoming less passive. If you think that passivity has been holding you back or causing problems in your personal and professional relationships, engaging in these four things on a regular basis can begin to pull you away from being passive and towards being more outgoing and personable.
1. Say What's on Your Mind
If you're a habitually passive person, you have probably had multiple instances in which you had doubts, concerns, accolades, innovations, or warnings that you could have expressed, but didn't. It's probably easiest to begin with the positives. When you think someone has done a good job, tell them. If you like someone's shoes, say so. If you're glad your husband cleaned the bathroom before you got home, give them that feedback.
As you get more comfortable, don't hesitate to let people know what you are displeased with things as well. If you are irritated by your wife leaving wet towels on the bathroom floor or are anxious about your younger brother going to college in another country, let these sentiments be known as well.
2. Speak Up About What You Prefer
When it's time to choose a restaurant, family vacation spot, or new car, let your preferences be known. While this doesn't mean you need to be aggressive or pushy, there's no harm in a simple "I really like the black one," "My allergies will start to go crazy in Louisville," or "I'd love to get some sushi right about now."
Save "Whatever you say," and "Why don't you choose?" for circumstances in which you honestly have no particular issues with any of the options given.
3. Jump In to Make Decisions
When there is a stall in the decision-making process at work or at home, every now and again, jump in and be the person to steer the ship, so to speak. One friend wants to see a movie, the other wants to go to the local amusement park. Speak up about what you want and be the one to make a final decision.
4. Share Your Talents
If you love to draw, don't just do it in the privacy of your bedroom. Draw someone a beautiful scene for their wedding or birthday. If you like to sew, make someone a pair of gloves, purse, blouse, or tie. If you are a really good singer, go out to karaoke and sing with your family. If you love to write, volunteer to post on the company blog at work. Better yet, if your company doesn't have one, combine all of these tips and be the one to bring up starting one, volunteer to coordinate the effort and write the blog, and then be the one to edit it regularly.
These four things can be really difficult for someone who has spent a lifetime living in the background of other people's decisions and activities. If you decide to try these tips, do one at a time and start with relatively trivial issues like what you want for breakfast or just doodling funny pictures for a co-worker at the office. Work your way up to more and more dramatic changes away from constant passivity. Be patient with yourself. You developed this habit over the course of years, so I encourage you to give yourself at least that much time to really integrate the idea of being assertive into your everyday life.
Read more about this topic:
The Complete Guide on How to Be More Outgoing
Social Pro | David Morin and Viktor Sander
7 Tips on How to Fake an Outgoing Personality
Womanitely | Jennifer Houston
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